The Real #CoupleGoals: 3 Untalked-About Signs You’re Ready to Get Married

couple close to each other

Those who have been in a relationship for a long time will eventually hit that point of decision when to get married. Some experts advise going for it when you’re already financially stable. Others say when you’ve already talked about parenting goals and styles. For sure, you’ve heard a lot already, tips from celebrities and cool, wise aunts to Cosmo articles. But believe it or not, you might not have seen all just yet. Here are the often-untalked-about signs you’re ready to get married:

You’re deeply, painfully aware of each other’s imperfections.

A lot of people enter marriage with rose-colored glasses. So much optimism. That’s good, of course. You want to be hopeful for this lifetime relationship. But beware, as this can also raise misplaced expectations. You have to remember that you’re marrying an imperfect person — and you can’t just gloss over this truth. You need to realize seriously the distinct implications of this. Given that your would-be-spouse isn’t perfect, it means they’re going to annoy and irritate you on may occasions. They will not understand you, sometimes on things you badly need empathy. They’re definitely going to disappoint you. In fact, they will be a failure in your eyes at some point. It’s going to be tough forgiving them. Do you know the secret to bear this kind of massive, blatant imperfection? Look at yourself. You also carry these faults. You’re equally hard to live with. You’re a pain in the neck as well. Once you and your partner reach that deep awareness of your wrongs, you’ll be able to put up with each other better and weather obstacles together.

You’re ready to get bored.

From books and movies to social networks, the media paints a very emotionally-laden picture of marriage. You get this fluttery feeling over Noah’s undying, unrelenting love for Allie. You long for that date night under the clear, blue sky in the Bahamas, just like your favorite influencer-couple. Yes, marriage can be this good — but not all the time. In fact, most of the time, it’s all just tedious, uneventful routines. You cook food. You do the laundry. You change kids’ diapers. And if you think you’re only going to get bored years down the road, think again. When you move into your new home after the wedding, you’ll have your first taste of boring, tiring married life stuff: decluttering kitchen cabinets, packing your wife’s piano, hauling boxes of appliances and clothes across the country, and the list goes on. Of course, you can always get the help of professionals offering long-distance relocation services, but all the same, you need to be ready to take on this unromantic stuff, and not just the sweet ones.

You’re willing to love more than be loved.

couple holding hands while walking in the forest

People unconsciously go into marriage, believing that it will be their security zone. It’s where they will be well taken care of, where they will be understood and accepted. To a certain extent, yes, this is one of the benefits of that lifelong relationship. But if you think of this union in terms of what you’ll be getting out of it, it will be a recipe for disaster. Precisely because it’s not going to end up that way all the time. There will be times when, out of the busyness of your spouse, they won’t be able to prepare dinner. There will be instances when, out of their tiredness from work, they won’t be able to ask you about their day. So it’s important to change the way you think about marriage: instead of looking at it in the perspective of being the recipient of love, appreciate it in the viewpoint of the giver of love. That you have the opportunity to take care of a precious person.

So… Are You Ready?

It’s tricky to know when you’ll be ready for marriage. But when you see your partner for who they really are, accept the tediousness of romantic relationships wholeheartedly, and be willing to be the lover more than the beloved, more or less, you can ring the wedding bells already.