|Parents too often make the mistake of not considering how their kids feel about certain events in their life as a family. Changing jobs, moving to a new city, selling their childhood homes, and transferring them to a new school. All these have an extraordinary impact on a child’s life and development. Have you ever stopped and wondered how your kids might feel about the whole pandemic? Have you talked to them about it? Did you listen to how confused they might be feeling?
Not listening to the kids is the same mistake many parents do when deciding about major events in their lives such as selling the property they have lived in since they came to this world. Can you imagine how disconcerting and what a shake-up that is for this young generation of nitpicking everything? This is an informed generation; more informed than any other generation that precedes them. To not consider how they feel is tantamount to not giving them a voice about an issue that will affect their lives.
So before calling a property seller and putting your house on the market, sit down with your kids and thresh out the details of how this will affect them. Yes, even kids as young as two years old should be explained to about how the move will affect their lives. They will need to attend a different daycare and meet new friends. The last thing you want is for these kids to harbor ill feelings about you.
Impact on Development
If you are constantly moving because of a job assignment or some other circumstances, that affects your kids’ development. You can talk to a counselor about it, so you can take the appropriate steps to protect them from the adverse impact of moving. However, one of the best ways to address this issue is to know how the changes will manifest in the way your kids’ act.
For introverted kids, this might have a huge impact on their social skills. Moving around often will impact the way they make friends. They might not feel comfortable about socializing and deepening friendships because they’ll have to cut these friendships short when they need to move again.
Have you noticed that your kids had a hard time making friends? This is another factor worthy of your consideration. You have to take into account that it might not be easy for them to make friends again when you move. Is this move really worth it? Is it necessary? One of the things that you can do is to help them keep in touch with their old friends either through social media and FaceTime or by bringing them over to your old neighborhood (if it’s a few hours away) so they can reconnect with their friends.
As for the new neighborhood that you will join, host a backyard barbecue party so your kids can have the opportunity to meet other kids. You should also make it a point to mingle with other parents so you can find out what activities your kids can be involved in at school and in the community. It takes effort from you and your kids for them to feel at home in this new neighborhood.
Answer Their Questions
Selling your property and moving to a new house is often a stressful time. But this is not a good reason to ignore your kids’ questions. Why are you moving to a new place? What will they do in the new neighborhood? Are you having money troubles? Answer these questions as truthfully and as detailed as you can. Your kids deserve the truth. They need to come to terms with it.
If they do not want to join in packing their things, that’s okay, too. This is a difficult process for them. Allow them to grieve over losing contact with their friends and the possibility of never seeing them again and missing out on all the activities they’ll be doing. You would have done the same if this happened to you before.
Kids are excellent creatures. They’ll mope around for a few months but settle right in once they find cool new things to do or friends to hang out with. Be open to these moping sessions and don’t force them to shake it off. Offer as much support as you can. However, if the moping continues for months, maybe it’s time to consult with a therapist and seek professional help for your kids’ inability to adjust to a new environment.